EFE: How We Mar Those We Make

Success is sweet, very sweet, but with success comes alot of responsibilities. Success brings about upliftment, envy, pride, change of level and class. Success is not for the lily livered, the reason most people can't manage being successful for long, especially when other people feel or believe they are part of their success story. Infact, they made you who you are, they gave you all the needed support to become successful and so you owe them.

Let's talk about Efe, yes Efe, the young man who just emerged victorious at the recently concluded Big Brother Naija reality TV show. He went home with an SUV and #25million cash. Big money right! Coming from a humble background in his mid 20's, his story was that of grass to grace, the street made him a winner because they felt he genuinely needed that money, so almost everyone that watched that show went out of their way to make him the winner and it reflected in how the votes turned out, out of the over 26million votes, Efe got over 57% of the 26million votes casted to be crowned the winner, while the remaining 42% was shared amongst the remaining 4 participants

Efe is the winner, we are all happy, the same street that made him are waiting. Yes, they are waiting for him to return so they can celebrate with him. Need i tell you that most people waiting to celebrate with him especially family and close friends are just waiting to collect their own share of the #25million? If you don't know, better know it now that most of them have calculated what their own share should be atleast, anything short of a share, they may turn from friends to foes immediately.

In this clime we have this crippling entitlement mentality, we often refuse to see beyond our immediate gains. If Efe should go on a sharing spree, based on how we want it, i bet you that in less than a day he would have spent the #25million settling few family and friends only.

Many atimes we pull those we made down without knowing. Lets put this into perspective here, young men and women get settled by their bosses or family with a certain amount to start their own lives. The reality is that we have pulled them down unknowingly. They are struggling to succeed but we keep bugging them with our undending demands. These are people trying to grow their businesses, or are monthly salary, but with our demands, they are already spending their capital or meagre salary to meet our demands, this leaves them either stunted or permanently poor. The same family that made you by encouraging you to go learn a trade for years, or go to school can also ruin you. And If you ever complain that their demands are too many, they remind you how they supported you till you got settled by your master or to get you through school.

Same people who are ready to insult you for not giving them whenever they ask, would be the first tell you that you should have been smarter by declining most of their frivolous demands once you knew it was overwhelming . They will call you a failure because other people succeeded doing same business or working as you, but they forget to ask if those other people in you shoes had to carry the burden of their whole family or the street on their heads

Family and the street will always want a piece of your chunk, but they also believe that you should be brave enough to say no when the answer is No.

Take care of your family or the street but make plans for the future as well, make plans for sustainability, you cannot make everybody happy. Sometimes you need to just disappear or become inaccessible for a while, let the frenzy and tension douse down, don't be cowed, they will talk, people must always talk, they will call you names, they will call you an ingrate, they will say all manner of things against you, but just be rest assured that when you are back standing stronger and better on your feet, same street or family that called you names for disappearing will start hailing and praising you because you can take on them, throw some cash around to calm frail nerves and give back once in a while. They will now call you the smart one

One common thing about family and the street is that they will always be there and will always welcome back its own with arms wide open once you return home. They believe you should spend on them but also be smart enough to plan for the future, but that's mostly what they won't voice out, they believe you should have that behind your mind.

We must also learn to not overwhelm those we made or helped with requests , yes they made it courtesy of our support, but we must not also pull them down indirectly. Let's try to understand and encourage them to stand stronger to be able to lift us too. This entitlement mentality must leave us if we must succeed. Stop giving with the right hand, and collecting back with the left.


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