Yet this belief can be dangerous when a relationship has gone past its natural expiration date… which is when people will try to save something that is beyond saving.
I’m here to tell you from personal experience that holding on to the wrong person will only result in resentment and a lot of wasted time and effort.
When reflecting on the failed relationships in my past, I always knew at a certain point that they had run their course. Even with this knowledge, there were numerous times when I held on for a lot longer than I should have instead of accepting that it was better for both of us to move on.
Here are four signs that your relationship has run its course and it’s better to let go.
#1. You no longer feel the need or desire to be intimate
Years ago I lived with a boyfriend and during the last few months of our relationship, we were never intimate with each other.
We slept in the same bed and still spent time together but I could tell that the spark between us had faded into a tiny flicker.
Then we arrived at the one moment when I knew it was really over. We went on a vacation and I remember thinking that perhaps it could reignite our dying flame. By the end of our full week together, we hadn’t been intimate one time, and neither of us had tried initiating anything. While lying awake in bed next to my snoring boyfriend, something in me just knew… our relationship was beyond saving.
The physical element of a relationship is certainly something that will ebb and flow but if you don’t feel any desire towards your partner for an extended period of time it is a huge red flag.
#2. You don’t fight anymore
When I was in college I was head over heels over the guy I was dating, James.
At the beginning of our relationship, James and I had several arguments which we resolved because we had open communication and made an effort to work through our differences.
However, a few months later there was a shift and I began feeling James getting more and more distant. He began going out to the bars and not responding to my messages or even letting me know his plans. Even though it was causing me to feel horrendous anxiety I didn’t say anything because I was scared that if I started a fight… he would leave me.
A couple of weeks later James left me anyway and I realized that remaining silent about my feelings had done nothing to save our relationship, if anything it allowed him to pull away even sooner.
Fighting takes effort and a level of being comfortable enough to express your feelings to your partner. When your relationship is nearing the end you either won’t care enough to fight, or you won’t want to bring up your feelings at all.
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Written by Carrie Wynn
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